


New York Eyes, Chicago Thighs

by alamebisexual



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Muggle, F/M, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Modern Marauders (Harry Potter), Modern!Mauraders, Muggle London, YouTube, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2019-10-23 12:47:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17683757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alamebisexual/pseuds/alamebisexual
Summary: RemusReviews a British YouTube Sensation stumbles across HeySiri - self-titled prankster and irritant. Will the Equal Opportunities Employer find a friend in Dorothy? Or will his ambition to write take him away from his cozy corner of the cobbled London streets, leaving behind something new, with New York Eyes and Chicago Thighs for every other person to disregard and misunderstand?





	1. RemusReviews: Love, Simon ft My Latest Crush.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, yes - the book title must be credited elsewhere: Its a lyric in the song 'I've Got All This Ringing in my Ears and None on my Fingers' from their album "Infinity on High". But this album has really inspired some parts of this potential story - I wonder if you're able to spot any future references I may put in from this absolute banger.

_**Remus** _

I tussled my hair, allowing it to lazily fall upon my forehead, ticking my eyelashes. I glance at the plastic plain carrier bag tossed to the side of my door. My shoes are lethargically thrown on the opposing side, on a three shelved unit, with only a singular shelf being filled. Above that are my few go-to jackets and occasional woollen hat. I drag my eyes back down to the bag, distracting myself from the historic documentary that I was watching to simply fill the time. It was talking about something regarding the Gestapo of NAZI Germany – oh I do find that era so evidently fascinating.

“Ugh” I cry, to no one in particular but myself. “Fine” I reply to the beckoning burning question irritating my mind like a broken record. I launch my body retrieving the bag, I’ve already read every single book in this bag – just on my kindle – when I add them to my bookshelves they must look pristine or it loses the aesthetic effect I have going on. Wearily my feet travel, at such a ridiculous pace, I could never admit to even myself that it is the habit which is the prime cause for my clumsiness in almost its entirety.

Once at my desired destination I start on my mental list:

  1. Camera on and charged – check.
  2. Lights on and positioned correctly – always.
  3. Reflection? Satisfactory.



Once I had worked out what I most wanted to say about this book I switched on my camera and started talking.

“Hey guys! It’s Remus of RemusReviews. Today, I am reviewing the highly requested, cinematic and fiction phenomenon – Simon VS The Homo-Sapiens Agenda AKA Love, Simon.” I paused for a moment, bring the book into frame, allowing myself to zoom in on the cover whilst editing. “Now, despite this book being aimed towards teenager and fairly young adults it was a great, relatable read. This book is very on brand for me, as you all well know – I’m an equal opportunities employer.” I chuckled at my own joke - knowing full well they would have to pause the video and google that!

“So, onto my thoughts. WOWZA!. I usually steer clear of Young Adult High School Books, because I hated high school. If I wasn’t bullied for my interests it would be for my abnormal height. So, after all the raving reviews I couldn't help myself – and let me tell you I was thoroughly impressed. It’s relatable to the politics and dramas of highs school, as well as the pressures and embarrassment of being a teenager. It’s an important book as it helps anyone, LGBT or not, understand what it’s like to come out and discover yourself. It tackles homophobia and obliterates it in its way. That was definitely a tick in my book. Would rate this, within the category of course, and not in my overall favourite book ratings, as a solid five stars out of five.”

I glance to the timer and see that I’ve been filming for around ten minutes now and that’s usually my benchmark, so I decide to wrap things up. “So!” I exclaim clapping my hands, grinning at the camera – “I would absolutely recommend this to anyone with an open mind to read a book of this nature. And as we are commencing the end of this video it’s your favourite part; the fun factoid of the day –“ “In 1838, General Antonio López de Santa Anna (President of Mexico) had his leg amputated after his ankle was destroyed by canon-fire. He ordered a full military burial for it.” I snorted, knowing that my viewers would enjoy that one.

“So, if there are any books you guys want me to review next let me know down in the comments and maybe I’ll see the cute bookstore guy again. Guys! He’s just my type, tallish, pale, long black hair with grey eyes. I’m not going to lie he was looking very punk rock and I was totally into that. He stuck out like a sore thumb in there – but he’s cute so I don’t mind.” I retort, feeling myself blush.

“See you guys next time, love Remus!”


	2. Dear cute stranger | HeySiri

_ **Sirius** _

“Dear Cute Stranger. I met you in a book store and you left before I could catch your name. you’re tall and cute. You held a stack of books clumsily in your arms which piled higher than most of the shelves in that quaint old book shop. I had never been in there before; I’d simply stumbled across these quiet streets in London, where this book shop just seemed to drag me in. And then it was as if the heavens broke open and I saw him. I hid behind various shelves watching him from afar, too afraid to get closer. I don’t think he noticed me, I’m almost sure of it.” I grin, my eyes shining into the lens.

“He was tall; with a woollen jumper on. The elbows had patches on it; his hair messy under a burgundy beanie. He seemed to be friends with the shop keeper – perhaps he goes there often. Oh but I can’t forget to mention his eyes; they were brown with almost specks of golden amber shards floating around.”

I sighed, not knowing what else to say – and to admit to myself that this seemingly perfect stranger was making me flustered was something I wasn’t sure I was yet prepared to do, alas, here we are.

“Next week guys, I’m working on some more covers and a few different bits too. And so because you guys are the best fan base on the entire platform – the first of two things; please check out my Instagram – I post polls and things on there that are really useful, and secondly, if you happen to know this guy please send him my way or visa versa.” I joked, knowing that the chances of me ever seeing him again were definitely slim. "That's all for this week! I'll see you all soon, Love Siri!" I explained, offering a small wave towards the end accompanied with a relatively big grin which plastered itself upon my face - I just hoped I didn't have broccoli in my teeth...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter updates aren't to an apparent schedule as it all depends on the quantity of my college work and job at the moment   
> \- alamebisexual :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -R-E-M-U-S-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys! sorry i've been distant with this work I just have been suupppeeerr busy with work and ALevels :( I will try to be better at updating now lol/>  
> \- Dais
> 
> please let me know what you guys thought of this chapter - I would really appreciate it :)))))

I wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary when I noticed that I was getting a lot of notifications on twitter – and when I say a lot I’m not exaggerating, my phone froze for a few moments trying to cope with the outburst. 

My phone was constantly abuzz with excited notifications, usually I didn't have to silence it while reading a new read to concentrate but today that seemed to be an issue for me. Just as I was switching silent mode on, I glanced at what the notifications were from - my twitter, all of them. It was so many of familiar yet also unfamiliar twitter handles tweeting at me - tagging me with some other username; probably a viral post about my freckles or something peculiar.

@IMSIRIUSLYSLAYINGRN :  
OMG @REMUSLUPINN IS THE GUY!! I! AM! SHOOK!

@PONYLOVER:  
omg it has to be rem - they would be sooooo perfect for each other

@pepelefrogisdeadmeme:  
guyz we don't want to scare rem off him lol

@danielhowell:  
lmao @RemusReviews I think you've got some tea to spill w/ us ;P

I sighed, my exhailing jittery; I unlock my phone, clicking on the twitter app, to see that my dash has exploded with tweets from people, my twitter following has gone up by thousands in a matter of hours. I was confused. I switched to my DM's and messaged Dan.

-  
@danielhowell: spill the tea bitch

@remuslupinn: I hate u

@phillester: rem, u gonna meet this guy???

@danielhowell: HES HOT?!

@phillester: gasp

@phillester: dan u used caps jfc

@danielhowell: lol this is one for the therapist, fix me in 45 bitch

@phillester: emo trash

@remuslupinn: guys what should I do

@phillester: hmm

@danielhowell: check him out, if u think hes hot af (which he is) slide into his DMs asking for editing tips

@phillester: SNORT

 

-

From this deduction, with no help from my friends, I decided to press my finger tip upon the blue hyperlinked text displayed in his twitter bio. It took a few minutes to load, I had concluded that this was from one of the two options; my shockingly slow internet connection that was costing me a fortune, or it was that it was currently or like me, trying to be viewed by thousands during this moment.  
Once the video fully loaded, the screen was black and the only sound that stimulated was by a logical guess was a pair of drum sticks being dragged across a rough wooden surface.  
And then, to a completely contrast, and with instant recognition – my favourite song began to play. But how did my viewers know this? I had never expressed this online before – perhaps it was coincidence, right? By no moments of hesitance it was a cover of Riptide by Vance Joy, but played on a ukulele – I listened through its entirety, humming along with the words etched into my brain months, years ago.

I clicked onto his actual channel finding a video titled, Dear Cute Stranger. I knew clicking on this video would be trouble.

And it was.


End file.
